Hashtag Muffin-Top

So, I was blow drying my hula hoop the other day when I hatched an idea. (No, this is not a metaphor for something else. I was literally soldering the ends of my new weighted hula hoop, made by Canyon Hoops, purchased through Amazon. It arrived in the mail coiled and required simple assembly.)

Like I said, I was blow drying my hula hoop when I hatched an idea: Why not share my new exercise interest with my friends?

I’m going to be 46 next month and it’s getting harder and harder (for me) to stay in shape. The winter was brutal here in New York, and while the snow fell in record amounts, I lost something I used to enjoy.  My waist.

My body is changing as I grow older. I think my boobs have developed an unnatural attachment to my knees, because they’re trying real hard to reach them. They used to be happy near my chin, but no more.

I walk the boardwalk three mornings a week and suffer through a yoga-fit class the other two days. It’s not enough. A few weeks ago, I saw Marisa Tomei interviewed on the View and she mentioned she enjoys hula hooping for exercise. I thought – Brilliant! I’m going to do that, too.

Fast forward two weeks: I have my new, two pound, exercise Hula Hoop, assembled and ready for action. Here it is:

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Last Thursday night, we were in the den: my boys lounging on the couch, while I stood off to the side, watching American Idol. I was hooping as I watched the show, minding my own business, when my older son peeked up from his phone and muttered, “Um, hashtag muffin-top”. I looked down and saw that my shirt had risen slightly during my exercise. Sure enough, there it was. My younger son looked at the older guy and said “You’re an idiot.”

I punished son #1, promised son #2 a car when he turns 17, and decided my hula hoop habit would have to be done without an audience. I don’t make nearly enough money to support their future therapy needs.

I have been exercising this way morning and night for several days. Outside of slight bruises around my middle and mildly sore internal organs, I think it’s working out well. I figure if I can uncover the secret to a smaller waist for a mere $30, why not share it with the world? Or, my friends.

I’ll keep you posted on the results. If not, I’m open to Plan B.

6 thoughts on “Hashtag Muffin-Top

  1. That’s hysterical! I’ve tried the hula hoop – can’t seem to keep it spinning around and around! You’ll have to first give me lessons on that!

    Like

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