Nope. Not me.

As we come upon the final days before taking you to college, I make a vow to myself. I’ll be strong, happy and excited, as you are. I’ll feel the optimism you feel, the readiness for you to leave us as I know you are.

I will not miss the sound of your infectious laughter in the house or your wonderful sense of humor at the dinner table. I won’t miss passing your bedroom and glimpsing you sleeping or listening to your music. I’m not at all worried about you being so far from home. I’m not concerned that you’ll make the right choices.

I will not overthink what you bring to decorate your new room, the space that will be your home for the next nine months and hope that you are safe and happy and comfortable.

I won’t worry if we prepared you well to be on your own for the first time.

I won’t cry when we say goodbye, when we drive away leaving you behind. I won’t see this as you wave from your building. IMG_3351

I won’t count the days until Parents Weekend or Thanksgiving break or end of term.  I won’t wonder where the time went, how fast you grew, how beautiful you are.

I won’t miss you.

Nope. Not me.

14 thoughts on “Nope. Not me.

  1. Instead I will be proud that we/ I taught you well, gave you the confidence to go forth and the love you need when it feels too tough. We know if you don’t think of the correct answer to “how do I” you will pick up the phone and ask. Because you know without a shred of doubt we/ I trust you to make your own mistakes.

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  2. Your words bring back bittersweet memories of sending my only daughter off to a prestigious college—to which she had gained admission all on her own—and knowing in my heart she was moving into another world, one where I could not follow. Today, I’m again feeling that combination of pride/wonder/loss as her son, my only grandson, heads off next week to spend his junior and senior years of high school in Shanghai, of all places! What adventures lie ahead for him in this rapidly changing world? I can’t even imagine. We do the best we can while we have them, and then launch them, like sailboats, onto the currents.


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